I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
