Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
