The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
