Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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