It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He shit in the fireplace
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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