the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
