just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
