you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
