The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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