What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
