a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
