My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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