It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
