Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
