Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
