Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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