Nicole vs. Life
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
