i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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