he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My breasts were aching with rage.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I have post one night stand depression
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