I wannas sexs uuuuu
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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