This is not my ceiling
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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