dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
