He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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