Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
