I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
