Even water is tasting like jack daniels
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
