Sponge bath it is.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
