i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm bleeding and have questions
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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