but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
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I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
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Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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