is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
