Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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