And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
