I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
