Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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