Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
