I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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