a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It's no shave November. This is our time.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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