We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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