I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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