When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
