I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Your cock deserves a montage
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
