try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
