so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
