Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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