isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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