the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
