New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
