Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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