I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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