Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
