But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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