You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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