Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
even my farts smell like vagina
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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