i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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