Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
