after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
