How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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